Parenting isn't always hard, but when it is, it can bring a lump to your throat and suck away your confidence - in yourself - and in your child.
I work with parents who are looking for another way – a sustainable way – to thrive while raising capable kids.
Interestingly, attending to your own needs first is the key to this other way.
Research shows that parents' ability to manage their own stress is the number two predictor of their child's well-being. (Number one is the level of love and affection the child feels.)
This "attending" to our own needs and "attuning" to our children's needs can be quite a balancing act. When we ignore our needs, we don't thrive. When we ignore our children's needs, they don't thrive.
It's about Presence + Purpose + Communication.
Presence Being in this moment (with ourselves and with our children). Not the future. Not the past. But bringing our attention and wisdom to what's happening here and now. That doesn't happen when we're parenting from "empty".
Purpose Clarity around what we are doing and why we are doing it.
Communication Listening and talking in ways that deepen connection and learning, invite curiosity, and communicate not just information, but values – love, relationship, compassion, responsibility, capability, courage, resilience.
That's where thriving, connected, flourishing growth happens. For you. And your child.
When any – or all – of these things are out of alignment, life, parenting and work can feel exhausting, soul-numbing. The opposite of thriving.
Welcome. I'm glad you're here.
Parenting 4 The Long Run is here to support you in
- Creating a life that works for you - today. Don't wait for "someday" to take care of your own needs (when your child is in school, when the project is over, when things settle down, when your child is out of school). Who know what shape you'll be in by the time "someday" comes?!
- Raising capable, compassionate children who will grow into young adults who are able to discipline themselves, who feel connected, who value themselves and others, who are capable of managing responsibility and freedom, who have the courage to handle success and failure in constructive ways that lead to growth. Positive Discipline principals and tools are designed to address the whole child. Neither punitive or permissive. They help you parent effectively – for the long run.
- Using daily challenges and mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow. Positive Discipline's roots in Adlerian psychology dare us to have the courage to be imperfect. It's not so much what happens to us, but what we decide about what happens to us that determines the trajectory of our growth (or failure to thrive). Relating to ourselves in an encouraging way – with openness, curiosity and acceptance – is a prerequisite to relating to our children that way. This doesn't mean we don't have high standards or set clear boundaries. We do.
You have to be able to successfully manage your own stress, and regulate your own thoughts and emotions if you want to be emotionally present for your child.
How do children learn? Through relationship. And by watching what you do, much more than what you say. That's where presence comes in. It's the foundation of relationship.
Many challenging moments with children are made worse because parents get "hooked" and become reactive. Maybe you've "been there, done that"?
Thriving - in a sustainable way – requires us to
Slow down, or at least be able to consciously "shift gears" so we can accurately assess what is needed and respond accordingly.
Learn to manage stress, become aware of our patterns of thought, deal intelligently with our emotions.
Take steps to change – sustainable change – when we want to.
I offer coaching and training to support you (or the families you serve) in thriving.
I invite you to join me in the "practice" of parenting for the long run: being present, being on purpose, and communicating and relating in ways that encourage, that build connection and teach skills in the process.
Learn to use the daily challenges and mistakes as opportunities to learn and thrive!
ICF Accredited Coach
Certified Positive Discipline Trainer
I'm a professionally trained coach specializing in purposeful presence, leadership and communication for parents who want to thrive at home and at work.
My coaching methodology is grounded in research-based best practices from the fields of psychology, education and neuroscience. In addition to Adlerian-based principals and tools, I support clients in the practice of mindfulness and self-compassion practices.
I'm married and have two children, ages 17 & 14. Life with teens is always interesting!
I understand the pressures of life in Silicon Valley, with demanding stakeholders of all ages.